Hope in Beauty

Two out of five women and one out of five men would trade three to five years of their life to achieve their weight goals.

In 1970 the average age of a girl who started dieting was 14; by 1990 the average dieting age fell to 8.

A study found that women overestimate the size of their hips by 16% and their waists by 25%, yet the same women were able to correctly estimate the width of a box.

Young girls are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, cancer, or losing their parents.

30% of women chose an ideal body shape that is 20% underweight and an additional 44% chose an ideal body shape that is 10% underweight.

What do these statistics tell us? They tell me that we live in a culture that is completely obsessed, focused on, and overwhelmed by body image. Size, skin, hair, lips, nose, legs--anything that our bodies physically display. Moreover? The majority of us are unhappy with said image. And honestly? I find that rather sad.

I know, I am a major hypocrite. I get on here and tell you all to love yourselves how you are, and yet I can't seem to do it myself. But that's just the thing. I realized at some point that convincing ourselves that we are beautiful and enough isn't just an intellectual realization. It's an emotional issue that must be dealt with at its core: the heart. I can tell you over and over that you are gorgeous, but it's going to take more than that to grasp the fact.

I guess my point is, we can tell people whatever we want to try convince them of their beauty. We can get it ingrained in their mind. We can get them to know it. But in the end, it takes their own sincere acceptance for them to really believe it.

The question is, how come our hearts are so shadowed against ourselves? How come countless girls walk around, absolutely convinced that they are ugly? How come thousands of boys walk around, sure that they're not good enough? How come we are our own worst enemies? There are many different reasons, some being true psychological disorders. But I strongly believe that one of the main factors to the sad, incorrect view of ourselves that I speak of is the ever-changing cultural influence that sneaks its way into our lives and leaves a mark on our hearts forever. Once these things have hit us, it's nearly impossible to eternally diminish the effects.

So what must we do? Instead of only talking to people and using clear reasoning and logic, we should try to reach out to them in ways that touch them in the tenderest spots. The spots that link to their hearts and feelings, not just their minds and thoughts. Even so, we as mere people probably can't completely convince someone that they look beautiful the way they are, and don't need to change. No matter what we do, it will take some of their own effort to accept what they know is true. We can help them to do so, but we can't do everything.

People say that immodesty is a heart issue. So is pride. So is lying. So is mal-contentment. All sins tie back down to one issue: the heart. So does beauty. I've spoken before about the fact that peoples' idea and perception of beauty changes overtime. Because it's just that. Perception. It's not a locked, solid fact. It's not something absolute. It's not something that sticks to itself. It becomes different. Beauty, our views of it, and our views of ourselves are not set in stone. It's not "two plus two equals four." That is a fact. It doesn't take belief. It's just...true. But one of the main things taking over American society today isn't even something reliable. It's just a feeling.

We are what we make ourselves out to be. No one can tell you that you are ugly because there's no real definition to what "ugly" is. It's all a perception. It's all an opinion. So why does it affect us so much?

The other day, I found the website operationbeautiful.com. Participants write encouraging messages on post-it notes and leave them in clever spots: dressing rooms, lockers, diet books, public restrooms, etcetera. At first, I was skeptical. How much impact could an impersonalized post-it note really make? As I watched some of the videos and looked at the pictures, I began to smile, realizing that if I saw something like that, I would be impacted. But the thing that really caught my eye was a picture of a girl who had stuck a post-it note to a mirror. It read "What you see here is your choice."

How true this is. Of course, there are absolutes. If I look into the mirror, I see blue eyes. I see brown hair. I see light-colored skin. That's a fact. It doesn't change unless I wear contacts, dye my hair, or get a fake tan. It's my perception of what I see that I decide. Of course, the perception is influenced by other people. But that's just it. Anyone can tell you what they want to tell you and you don't know whether or not to believe it because it can push your emotions one way or the other, but there's no knowledge that you can stand on.

As we walk through life and find ourselves hating each other, the one thing truly stopping us from being happy with ourselves...is us. In the end, it's going to come down to you and me taking the extra step and opening up our hearts to accept the truth. Yes, I know that some people are literally incapable of acceptance. That is a different matter. But there are people like me that know the facts. They just haven't figured out how to believe them. I can't tell you how to believe them. I don't even know how to do it myself. But I think that if we remember that we are what we make ourselves to be, we can change our perceptions a lot.

I hope you know how beautiful you are.