To My Dear, Sweet Sister...

This moment, four years in the past, I was sitting happily in my older brother, Jordan’s room, blissfully unaware what lay ahead for me. Jordan and I were making “Lego-mation,” barely considering the fact that our parents seemed very quiet today. Suddenly, my dad opened the door, and our young, happy eyes looked upon his grave, serious ones. Our faces instantly fell. My dad informed Jordan and I that my mom needed to go to the emergency room to give birth to the baby. I was only eight at the time, and I couldn’t quite understand the seriousness of the situation, but I quickly packed my suitcase to leave for Grandma’s house

We drove to our grandparent’s in silence, and we were dropped off. A little later, my dad called my grandpa, saying that my little sister was born! I was filled with joy.

Within a half-hour, we were at the hospital. We saw my mom, lying in her bed. I expected to see her very happy, but she seemed tired and a little distraught. By picking up vibes and snippets of conversation, it sounded like something was wrong with my new sister, Katherine Makenna. I didn’t worry about it, however, because I had learned that eavesdropping is a sure way to get something wrong. I skipped out of the hospital that night, smiling, simply wishing that I could see my sister.

Things changed.

A little later on, I finally learned that my sister had an extremely serious and very rare heart defect called Epstine’s Anamoly. I didn’t understand much, but I could comprehend enough to know that she was very sick. Through the next few weeks, I spent countless hours in the hospital while my mom and dad visited my sister. Sometimes Jordan and I were able to visit a friend, but we were often stuck in the waiting room. Neither of us were twelve yet, and that was the required age to be able to go up to the NICU. The hospital nurses granted us permission twice to visit my sister.

Six weeks to the date after she was born, my family was just finishing enjoying dinner. My mom, dad and I were all sitting on the couch, watching TV, while Jordan was still gnawing on his chicken at the table. The phone rang and my dad walked into the den to answer it. He came back into the living room, looking as if he was struggling.

“That was the doctor,” he said, “We need to go be with Katherine. She’s not going to make it through the night.” Biting his tears back, my dad sat down on the couch and brought my crying mom into his lap. Silent tears started to trickle down my face as I stared into space, trying to realize it all. Through a picture, I could see Jordan’s reflection. He had dropped his chicken and was staring out, arms still in eating position, mouth open wide, eyes as big and round as saucers.

After we had contained ourselves, we left for the hospital. We made our way to Katherine’s room and said our last goodbyes. As they took away her life supporting cords, I watched her heart rate drop rapidly. Tears started to well in my eyes once again as I squeezed her arm. But when the meter hit zero, something filled me up. I knew instantly that Jesus was there, comforting me; protecting me; telling me it would be alright.

I miss Katherine horribly, and I would do anything to have her back, but I know that whatever God did, it was right. Thank you, Lord, for bringing me through these years. You are the One who keeps me moving.

Last but not least, Katherine, this song’s for you:

My face grew dark as
You lay there, asleep
A baby, so very young
So little you couldn’t speak

I shed a tear at the thought
That you would soon be
Away from me, away from me
But one thought kept me going

She’s off to Heaven
The place where Jesus reigns
Where sadness is unheard of
Somewhere she’ll feel no pain

I’m sure we’ll miss her greatly
While she’s away from us
But before too long we’ll be joining her
In that place, so glorious

She’s off to Heaven

The thought still saddened me
But I kept a strong face
I smiled weakly at the people around me
And I granted them grace

I kept my sadness inside
But my remorse didn’t go short
And I prayed to God
The one thing that gives me comfort

She’s off to Heaven
The place where Jesus reigns
Where sadness is unheard of
Somewhere she’ll feel no pain

I’m sure we’ll miss her greatly
While she’s away from us
But before too long we’ll be joining her
In that place, so glorious

She’s off to Heaven

She’s off to Heaven
The place where Jesus reigns
Where sadness is unheard of
Somewhere she’ll feel no pain

I’m sure we’ll miss her greatly
While she’s away from us
But before too long we’ll be joining her
In that place, so glorious

She’s off to Heaven
She’s off to Heaven


I love you.

Happy birthday.