God's Providence, Part 1

To make a long story short, I was reflecting on the thought of God's providence a lot this past week. "Providence," I realized, is not just the Christian word for "luck." It's something different. Something more.

I believe that everything happens for a purpose. (Just as a note, I do believe in predestination.) I believe that every action made was predicted by God, and happened for a reason. Although something doesn't seem so pleasant on the surface, in the end, it will lead to something good. God knows what He's doing.

It made me think of my own personal life. Not just the hardships I've gone through, but the decisions I've made, as well. And the decisions that were made for me. And the decisions I wish I had made. And, quite frankly, I'm still missing the meaning to many of those. But some, I think I've finally realized the beauty of.

If you read my post "Me? A Model?" you would know that I used to want to be a model/actress/singer/American superstar. And, I'll admit, I still have my occasional wishes for these. I still sometimes wish that my parents had allowed me to enroll in acting classes. I still have the occasional longing to be in a band. But who knows what have happened if I had become the person I wanted to be so badly?

Well, if you've known me for five minutes, you also know that I compete in speech and debate. If I had become an actress, or something of the sort, would I have had the chance to be in my league? Would I have been able to join it? Would I have even ever heard of it? It's possible, but not likely, considering the fact that both are very time consuming activities. If my parents had made the decision to allow me to become my dream, I probably would not be in speech and debate now. I would have missed so much. I would have never experienced one of the greatest things ever!

Granted, I may have liked acting, modeling, or singing as well, but as time progresses, I feel that God is calling me to be a speaker. I believe that, by learning how to communicate effectively, I'll be able to share the Word of the Lord more. I'll be able to be a witness. And as I look back, I don't think that He was ever asking me to become the superstar I wanted to be. I was calling myself. I had no interest in bringing others to Christ; it was for my own selfish reasons. For recognition. Fame.

It's amazing how this worked out. I begged, and begged, and begged to be put in acting and singing classes. But because my parents made the decision not to, I'm now in a much happier place where I think that I can glorify God more.

A mild example, perhaps. Possibly an over-exaggeration. Maybe I would have been able to spread Christ in acting and singing. But whenever I head to a new tournament, I think of how God has planned my life for Him. And whenever I find myself wishing to be on the cover of a magazine, I remind myself of His reason for everything- His providence.