Hope in Devotion

It usually surprises people when I admit this, but for me, saying "I love you" is hard. No matter who I'm talking to, it takes an effort for me to form those three words and actually say them. It's strange since I would readily tell you that I love everyone, and it's certainly never untrue. It's just hard for me to say it. I have my own specific theory of why this is, but to be general, I think the hesitation bases itself in the fear of unrequited love.

Such a universal, terrifying fear. Opening yourself up, allowing someone into your life, offering yourself, body and soul, all on a chance that they'll love you back. And if they don't, it's painful. Loving someone isn't just an claim. It's a deep, admitting, controlling, devoted feeling. It's an action. If you do it right, that is.

We have the four distinct Ancient Greek terms for love:

Storge- "affection," usually the natural form that usually resides in a family.

Philia- "friendship," virtuous love. This concept, developed by Aristotle, includes loyalty and appreciation shown between family and friends. This is probably the most common form of love that most of us feel.

Éros- "passionate," often sensual, usually intimate love. Whether it simply be an exceeding form of philia, or romantic attraction, eros is strong, hormonal, and very bothersome when unreturned.

Agape- "true love." I call it this because agape is recognized as unconditional, deep, real love. And it is what I strive towards every single day.

It's hard to love people in general, let alone unconditionally. People hurt us. They make mistakes. They deny our love. They say hurtful things. We can all be complete and total idiots, capable of harming those closest to us. And all of this makes it very difficult to truly care for someone.

Oh, but where would we be without love? "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him shall never perish, but have eternal life." It is because of love that we can live. God has no obligation to love us. He has no incentive or command. He loves us because He doesn't just see our flaws, because He created us, and because He cares deeply about us, surpassing any sort of human affection we can ever imagine or possess. 1 John 4:9 reaffirms this: "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him." To sacrifice His one and only Perfect Son was an act of love most of us cannot fathom.

Today is To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) Day, 2010. I've spoken about it in detail before, so to keep it brief, TWLOHA is a non-profit movement "dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide" through encouragement, information, inspiration, and investment. This is a day where hundreds of thousands of people write the word "LOVE" on their arms, spreading hope, freedom, and rescue instead of pain, tears, and cuts. I support the organization because I truly, firmly believe that people forming unity in love can save the brokenhearted from their pain, physical and emotional. And I believe that it isn't just a phrase, not just a desire, not just a string of letters written in Sharpie on my arm right now, but an action that we take to provide love and stop the bleeding.

Why do I put so much emphasis on an action? Because I have seen love degraded. I have seen it taken for granted, watered down, and ignored. And it's so, so important--it's just sad that people treat the words "I love you" with such carelessness. When we forget what it actually means...oh, we lose so much.

We are commanded to love. Not just to be affectionate towards select people, but to love like Jesus loves.

"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."
"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

These verses, all taken from portions of 1 John 4 prove that as Christians, we have a calling duty to love in the same way that God has--we are to have perfect love.

I chose the title "Hope in Devotion" because that last word is what I have been noticing is an essential aspect of true love. True love survives. It doesn't die off because of one argument or hurtful remark. It isn't selfish. It doesn't look for flaws, but replaces them with beauty. It cares, it desires, it thrives, it lives. This is how I see agape love. Undeniable, unending, always forgiving. And it is my everyday strive to embrace and exhibit this true love.

I've spent a lot of time doing things that I want under my name. Spoken ideas of who I am. The girl who wrote a novel age thirteen, or the person who crafted a hundred songs (all pretty bad, mind you). But this week, I have decided something: if I'm going to be remembered for anything, I want it to be my love. I want to reach agape. I know that I will never be perfect, but I am committed to trying anyway. I want to be devoted to everyone in the world that I ever come in contact with, and give my entire heart and soul to God. What purpose do I have for my own love? Not much. Everyone else? I can't wait to see.

My life is not my own. I have been called to love as God loved, and that is what I will try to do. I'm just one person and I can't do much, but perhaps by weaving a legacy of devotion, I can make a mark that will touch people's lives. Whether it be my arm covered in marker, my blog posts, my writings, my words, or even my actions: I want to prove that I see everyone's worth, and I would die for them. Even if they don't love me back.

And that is why I can say this with all sincerity. It's not just a robotic phrase. It's not just an expression of affection. It is true, deep, real, and increasing every single time I say it.

I love you.

Join me?