Random Musings [Part 1]

At the moment, I am performing the grand art of procrastination. Yes, indeed, I could very well be accomplishing something productive, but am instead complaining that I'm "bored," and doing things only reserved for such boredom.

Fact: My favorite thing to do when I'm bored is read stuff I haven't read in a while.

Stories and songs I've written a while ago, old emails, ridiculous kiddie books, old blog posts... You know, the stuff that makes you nostalgic.

Today, I decided to read old forum posts.

So I went on my favorite site. (It really doesn't matter what it is. If you also have an account on it, you'll probably know.) I searched through one of the sub-forums until I found the threads from the time when I had first come on. (About the end of March this year.) And I just started to read.

Posts from when different members were on, different topics were discussed, different things were said, and when I was incredibly irritating and immature.

When I used ten emoticons per post, I always made the little action guys (*is making a blog post right now*), I said the dumbest things, and, of course, thought I was absolutely hilarious

It made me realize how much I've matured in the past few months. At times, I honestly wish I am how I was back in March-few months on. I was more... naive. I hardly knew what I, or anyone else, was talking about half the time, and was in a state of "ignorant bliss." (To the few who get that- you rock.) I was hyper. I laughed at the dumbest things. I also found myself a lot happier more often- because I had sheltered myself.

Now don't get me wrong- I'm still your typical, out-of-place, socially awkward, giggling, sheltered little homeschooler. But I'm different. And I'm not sure why.

And now, naturally, I find myself babbling away at nothing in particular. I'm not sure what I'm here to say, except...

Thank you. Thank you for being part of my life. For feeding my boredom with the aforementioned nostalgia. For, perhaps, putting up with my incredibly irritating pre-teen-ish-ness. For letting me believe I was funny, even when I absolutely was not. Maybe for helping me through a rough time, or telling me something that I needed to know. For being sweetly protective, or overly blunt. If you know me, you've made some sort of difference in my life. It may have been big, it may have been small. You might know just how big it is. I might be holding back just how much I love you, and how much I wish I could pour my heart out to you. But somehow, you've changed me. So thank you once again.

Let's clink our glasses together and say "cheers" as I enter the second half of my first year of teenage-hood, and the rest of you hit your own milestones, shall we?

I plan on staying irritatingly sheltered for a little while longer.

P.S. Teen angst is overrated.
[To the two who told me that all along... You know who you are. <3]